BANGINIt’s been a stressful day,

. been a stressful week,

It’s been crazier than usual,

Things looked so bleak,

When the washing machine,

Started dancing non stop in the bathroom,

One of the springs had come away,

And our house owner came yesterday,

“With a new hole and some sticky tape,

It will be up and running like new”,

I replied are you crazy, it’s broken,

This tin will not spin no more,

I insisted for a new machine,

For the old one has damaged the floor,

And please Signora Maria ,

Stop banging on our door!

Oh the stress, the stress, the stress!

And the phone keeps on ringing,

Upsetting my love who needs to be studying,

The unpolite gas people asking for money,

And laughing and joking, well I don’t find it funny,

Today they’re more thieves in suits,

Than odd looking head shaven brutes,

And believe me they cut you to the bone,

And all this by sitting next to the phone,

I can fell some stress, yes some more,

And please Signora Maria,

Stop banging on our door!

Oh the stress, the stress, the stress!

And the old women like I said before,

Keeps banging on our metal door,

She thinks she has the right to intrude,

She is too ignorant to know she’s being rude,

She bangs on the door and screams“ELLLIIIISSSSAAA”

She thinks my love was born just to clean her,

She screams in the dead of night, “oh the pain”

She’s driving the whole bloody neighbourhood insane,

She has many daughters and even more grandchildren,

Who only assist if they are paid in advance,

We are so stressed up we are in a trance,

We’re so angry, we can’t take no more,

For crying out loud women,

Stop banging on that bloody door!

We are scared to open the door,

We are too scared to visit Rocchino,

We’re so stressed it isn’t fair,

We can’t even relax to make a dodgy cappuccino,

Like I said many times before,

Signora Maria, stop shouting, stop complaining

And stop banging on our worn out door!

Oh the stress, the stress, the stress.

© D.Hobson September 2013