So you have written something on a blog, you have even published over twenty eBooks that are free to download, you are feeling quite happy with yourself but nothing is what it seems.

As you watch your competitors writing and publishing and gaining more followers on the social networks, they are getting paid for videos on YouTube, and they have made a few pennies selling, yes selling poetry in a proper book.

Frustrated you try to gain more followers, you try to be polite to the people who interact with you, you try to write something more cheerful, you update your blog, paying attention to the details and tags and whatnot but nothing is changing.

Some people inform you that you have a gift and a flare and a fucking great imagination, but no matter how you try, nothing is moving, except the stuff you give away everybody loves you when you are a gift giver.

I know I should be grateful for what I have achieved so far but there is that wasp stinging me in the back of my head, telling me to push harder, but basically I don’t know how,  I think my writings have progressed in the last couple of years and I hope my stories are clear as they are dark.

I am not really complaining I am just showing how frustrated I am at the moment , I have a lot of projects coming together, a lot of great ideas and the amount of free eBooks I have been able to sprinkle on the world is great (if the sales reports are true and not manipulated by Putin).

Well normally at this point I would cancel all my work and sit in the corner sucking my thumb and looking like some troll who has had his bridge torn up, but no I am continuing, some people like my work and are proud of what I have done, I have cut some of my websites adrift and I will be concentrating on fewer sites and more posts.

I am back so they say, but come on I was never really that far away!