The sheets are always whiter on the TV
The pillows are always larger and fluffier
The lady is smiling so immaculately
If its six thirty in the morning why the bloody make up?

We are sold a vision for publicity
A divine image and fake simplicity
With ten grand of make-up and props
With ten dozen takes to get the right shot

When you wake up in the morning with tired eyes
Wheezing and farting and scratching hidden jewels
Feeling like shit with a tongue of rough sand paper
Sometimes the wakeup call can be so cruel

Paint a prettier picture to be just like Hollywood
The diva slides out of bed without a crease in sight
Looking extravagant in the first rays of artificial light
A tuck and snip to stop the eyes bags filling

Where is the romance in what seems a plastic doll
No nasal hair or a punk style crest to scare your partner
When you have eyes like two piss holes in the snow
Coughing out all the phlegm you made over night

If only we could be like those fakes on TV
Floating from bed to the designer power shower
Wrapped in a body towel so soft and smelling of spring
We sit down at the overflowing pine breakfast table

The question is who makes the bed and folds the sheets so fine?
Who actually has a house where water is plentiful?
Who actually has a towel that does not stink of the washing machine?
Who made the breakfast when you are the first one up?

Who opened the blinds or did you forget to close them?
Why the smiles when you should be heading off to work?
Why the dancing on tiptoes when you know your period is coming
Ha, that might make a mess of our super white sheets

Why are the women on TV always so slim?
When they seem to eat such an extravagant breakfast
Why are the blonde hair girls selling to a market of darkened locks?
Look closer and you can see their black eyelashes!

Why is there so much seduction in selling something so mundane?
Why is everyone dancing on their way to work?
Why are these bastards selling us a false dream?
What master plan does these companies expect us to believe?

Do we buy a type of drink just because of semi naked woman in bed?
Do we book a holiday because of the naked view from the beach?
Do we buy a car because it is just another fashion accessory?
Do we change our political view just to please our heroes?

Plagued by a false world covering over our rotten teeth
Nobody goes to the toilet on prime time TV!
Maybe that is the reason the toilet paper seems to last forever
It is such a beautiful carefree world on the big screen

Diversion is what we need when we go to the cinema
Escapism is what we need when we listen to music
To get away from our dull lives and endless mistakes
We don’t want to be sold another plastic cupcake

Don’t get me talking about products appearing in our favourite shows
Product advertising hidden between scene one and two
Making sure that the actors all stand quite still
It is so sick when the brand name is in plain view

The violence in the film was a little over the top
We got the matrix cloning the terminators futile war
So many bullets shot and not one victim
The bloggers will be have a bloody field day

Why can’t they advertise from what is our reality
A plus sized lady with her hormones twisted
Drinking a café that will make her twice as stroppy
Showing the real trend when we’re off our trolley

Not all men are good at doing the household chores
Not every kitty wants a meat balanced diet
Sometimes a woman would like a sporting roller
Taste is not forever especially when you’re older

Give me value for money and not just some celebrity spot
Some old, down on their luck, fading superstar
I have been plagued by Bruce Willis and now bloody Patrick Dempsey
I want to use the phone I don’t want their autograph

Do you remember the old days of Russ Abbot smoking a cigar?
Smash got mashed and the Pg Tips were monkey business
They were not politically correct but they were fun to watch
We didn’t buy a cuppa because we loved the performing monkey

All the classical jingles that went into censorship hell
When a Mars use to makes us work rest and play
When Boddingtons beer adverts made us chortle
No we are lost in sexist bribes and verbal foreplay!


Darren Hobson is a published poet who writes constantly and truthfully, mixing his palette of words with detail and enthusiasm, he writes about society, the general grind of daily live but also writes short stories about the supernatural and dark fairy tales. He has many eBooks and paperback books on offer why not delve deeper into this artists mind?

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