Slumber

Got to get myself away from this deep dark cloud I am under
Got to wake up from the storm that put me into a slumber
Got to find that part of me that smiled once every so often
I have to get back on track and dance to my favourite number

I know I have a few problems and I don’t lie
Got to sort them out but I don’t know how
I know I am full to the brim and I don’t know why
Got to shake off this negativity somehow

Feeling tired and ratty most of the time
Constantly regretting the results from my mind
Coughing up the phlegm of the blood and tears
Getting into debt with my costly ideas

I seem to be stuck in some kind of rut
I am standing still, the world glued to my foot
My poems are becoming the same old complaints
I never painted myself as a new age saint

My jokes are raw and my humour is absurd
Some of my quips often go unheard
I thought it was funny, I really did so
Know looking at your reaction I don’t really know

Maybe I am infested with aliens like in a new aged religion
Maybe I need a cure or a deep dark incision
Open up my dark depths let’s have a peek inside
Let out my screaming demons, so open wide

Got to get myself out of my shell
Send my ugly ass back into hell
I have the delicacy of ten tonnes of thunder
I have to shake myself away from this slumber

I should have a map or an app to help me out
I should have learned to speak my mind by now
When I speak of what is truly inside
I cannot help thinking I have always lied
To myself and to that figure in the mirror
My mind is cracked and I have years of bad luck
Am I suffering now from years of not giving a fuck?

I see so many images of stardom and fame
It seems like a great rich type of game
But now we are burying are idols
More than before
How many more suicides?
What did they do that for?
Are we all slipping down a tunnel of mental shame?
Hiding our defects like it is some type of gain
Feeling so uneasy and feeling out of sorts
Mixing tragedy and fantasy with drink and snorts
We are heading to a brain washed shore
Succumbing to a tidal wave more than before
We are fragile and we are brittle but we must stay strong
We must not say the truth when they ask what is wrong

We must hide our real emotions and years of decay
We have to paste over the bullshit to not get in the way
Have a drink or two just to null all the fire
Trying not to succumb to the most sickest desire

Got to get myself off this one way track
Got to get myself a free ticket back
But every day I feel dumber and dumber
Seems like I will never shake off this slumber

The hate inside is cracking me up
The despise I have is seen in my eyes
Ashamed of breathing and living on
When so many people have move along
The good sensible people are dying
Us tormented souls are left crying
In a beer, a single tear too many regrets
In life at this age, there is too much debt

A wrong word, a wrong feeling, a wrong moment to relax
A stupid fucking game gone wrong like Russian roulette
A gaping hole in my head where my brain use to be
Scabs and blisters and infected strands of my fragile sanity

I try not to scream and I try not to shake
But seems everything thing I do is a mistake
I chose the wrong road I drove up it the wrong way
I regret burning my tongue when I had nothing to say

I choose to write but my talent is largely ignored
It is like sleeping with the enemy because on how loud they snore
It is like running through a forest knowing there is booby traps
It is like you telling me to bury my past and be calm

How can I be calm in a world so unpleasant and demanding
Nobody stops to give you a piece of mind and some understanding
All moral dilemmas are now resolved with a cold-hearted app
Do you understand I am faking because inside I feel crap?

It is the same old story with different words but the same ending
Can’t you read between the lines at the message I am sending?
Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself and how you wander
I am going to go into hibernation to double up my slumber.