Blame on the inventor
Who didn’t do the inventory
Blame on the carpenter
For the splinter misery
Blame on the mechanic
When your car don’t start
Blame it on the dietitian
When you begin to fart

You put too many beans in my inventory
Inflating of stomach what did you do to me
I was better off without technology
So when did the inventor change it for me

Was it better off with film and Kodak
Before digital came on the attack
Before the social media stirred you wrong
Before Britney spears wrote a song

Was it all worth it before it came worthless
Wasn’t the world better when it was ruthless
All the new stars have never played a gig
Now they are all worth more than a few quid

Blame it on Gates for being technological
Blame it on Tesla for being diabolical
Blame it on Bezos for having a vision
Blame it on Spielberg for wanting a television

When we sat at home we drooled
The geeks at work made us fools
They invented internet between snacks
Why don’t you cut me some slack

Now we are old and drunk and in debt
They are rich and arrogant you bet
Now we are controlled by their inventory
Why did this have to happen to me

Blame it on the whore who gave you crabs
Blame it on the beautician for your abs
Blame it on your wife for giving you kids
Blame it on the cat on the dustbin lids
Blame it on anyone but you
Blame on the postman agonising you
Blame on the shopkeeper for lack of food
Blame it on the astronaut for being rude
Blame it on the weatherman that it didn’t rain
Blame it on Branson for pickerling your again
Blame on it on the Pistols for being punk
Blame it on me because I’m fucking drunk
Blame it on Netflix the Dark was too complicated
Blame it on Lucas because space is fascinating
Blame it on this twat writing poetry
And I’ll blame everything on everyone except me