Agony comes with pain
Pain comes with a wound
Wounds became a scar
Some cuts never heal
What I failed to understand
How much I can hurt
Just by saying the wrong thing
The things that can wound

In my sleepless nights
I am constantly thinking
Mulling over my past
Remember every bad moment
All those stupid things at school
Badly received valentine’s cards
Living with the embarrassment
Down the long school halls

Eating glue in junior school
It didn’t stick my wits together
Hating myself for being shy
Too afraid to raise my hand
All of my choices scrutinized
No difference in work or play
Why did I make those erratic choices
That led me here today

I think of all the people I have met
Especially those that have been kind
I believe eight weeks is far too enough
Or else I would damage their minds
I might be interesting on first sight
But my toxicity will quickly seep through
Even if I’m trying to mend this
It’s too much bullshit even for you

In days like this I want to retire
Pack away all my words and verses
I’m despicable with all those poems
Love lines became deadly curses
The ebooks with their dodgy covers
The commas and bad grammatical mistakes
My tongue in cheek English humour
Like my collection Just in Timber Lake

This is what I think deeply of at night
As well as dreaming of airplane crashes
Somehow I survived two bad landings
I think I need to clean my glasses
I also have a fear of missing my flight
In my sleep I panic as I’m unprepared
Looking at the clock one hour before check in
Knowing very well it’s impossible to get there

Too much anxiety in my flimsy poetry
I think my best has just past
While I’m trying to keep holding on
I don’t think my creativity can last
I can’t squeeze more blood out of the stone
The walls are talking back to me
I’m trying to move on with hope
But I seem to be allergic to positivity