We over did it with the horror
We have retold the same old lines
From black and white to technicolor
We have paralysed the spine

Old style actors born for the stage
Oscar winning performances everyday
Crude special effects and wooden walls
It was wonderful art for an award-winning play

Somewhere along the line it got scary
As the years past it went to terrifying
As the supernatural was eagerly explored
Old myths and legends were rehashed

We have exorcisms right left and center
The zombies are coming out of their tombs
The slugs have eaten more the lettuce
And the rabid aliens will be certain doom

Real life stories with a Hollywood twist
Hammer horror stories were far better
What do you prefer the fog or the mist
Every week a new film a trend setter

We got splattered on the front row
Jaws for me was never part of the genre
We had piranhas and snakes and gremlins
All bad movies to make a dollar or two

Give me a undead vampire any day
That ooze with tragedy and romance
From Transilvania to Whitby Yorkshire
Christopher Lee got you in a trance

Poor Van Helsing always with a stake
To make a sequel he made a mistake
What if the sunshine didn’t destroy the fiend
What if Dracula was invincible

We had the era of Michael, Jason and Freddy
I think they all have ten films each
Chucky got lucky we got bored with Saw
Anything for money unnecessary gore

Can nobody write a decent horror story
Like Stephen King when he was young
Have you been haunted by your automobile
Or maybe got lost in a Funhouse

Rob Zombie had a go and went astray
His first few movies were more than okay
Can anyone beat Dario Argento in his prime
The last few films were a waste of time

We have had nuns and awful looking dolls
We went to space and then back to hell
Someone then dabbled in the craze 3D
Freddy’s bloody glove coming after me

How about Tarantino or Rodriguez
I think Mario Bava did it far better
If I had to choose something to watch today
I would look at the independent circuit anyway

Find me some films with new ideas
A film that doesn’t just slaughter horny teens
I don’t care what you did last summer
I preferred it when the hills had eyes

Scary movie and even all those Screams
The same plot lines and rampant teens
Add some nudity and a few cheerleaders
Just kill the leading lady in the opening shot

Cheap and camp is better than reheated stew
We all love the Rocky Horror picture show
It was made with 5 quid became a cult classic
Now what is that telling you

So please all you budding film makers
Tone down the blood and special effects
Write a story with a begining and an end
See where real scripts can take the movie

Characters with warmth and not just tits
Complicated lives can be a real hit
With so many horrors in this mysterious world
Why do you want to make “Freddy is back for you 2”.