Are you here
Are you near
Can you understand
All the fear
Being alone
Nights are long
Shadows dance
A dead telephone

Do you read me
Do you sense me
Do you know
I’m not ok
Would you walk
Away from me
If you really knew
What I’ve been through

I’m too old
So much baggage
Memories unfold
Empty wallet
Slowing down
Harnessing pain
Aches in the morning
Seizures in the rain

Is that life
A fight to survive
To be popular
A bad surprise
Following rules
Kings and queens
Wrong colour of dress
Death sentence

Can you connect
Or be disconnected
How many times have
You been rejected
I’m not a writer
Just a poet
A charlatan
A joker without a claret

At times at night
I wish I wouldn’t wake
Close the chapter
On this continuous mistake
So I’m selfish
Certainly insecure
Writing the same shit
That doesn’t rhyme anymore

For you a smile
Just don’t look into my eyes
I’m trying to convince you
I hate telling lies
When I’m down
I’m not around
All my momentum collapses
Forgotten in an instant

So I can give others hope
For myself the opposite
I want everyone to succeed
But I can’t be part of it
I joke too much
I offend unintentionally
Just a side affect
Of knowing me

Some days I want to
Walk away
Say sorry to everyone
I met yesterday
I know you have problems
I should not be a weight
I should shut up
As you’ve enough
On your plate

I’m lucky I suppose
To be sort of free
I have no ex-husbands
Trying to violate me
No kids with dirty diapers
Dogs hiding in the hampers
The cold winter walks at dawn
Croquet on your lawn

Are you still here
After reading this
What’s worse than my poem
A stolen kiss
Being alone
Accepting my fate
You should run now
Before it’s too late.