Don’t open the curtains
The sun will be in your eyes
You have nectar on your tonsils
A cat on your thighs
Just with one little twitch
The cat thinks it’s feeding time
You have no motivation
You just want to close your eyes

Hand searches to soothe a thousand itches
Now your senses are coming on through
The rain taps on the windows
So no sun will be blinding you
Mind tells you that you need to get up
And unfortunately go outside
Thoughts remind you of a broken umbrella
And the punctured soles of your shoes

The clock is not being kind to you
Time is threatening to run away
Why did it have to rain this morning
Why didn’t it choose another day
The wind howls to make it worse
Cough spluttering you’re dying of thirst
Bladder raises it’s hand let’s go pee
Oh boy so many things to motivate me

Back is sore must have felt the cold
When the cat ran off with the duvet
Knees crack as you stretch your bones
Fart explodes and blows your clinkers away
Cat is getting agitated starts to run
Upset with you being motionless
Motivation has leaked into the mattress
What a fucking mess

Finally up on your feet
And the cat bites your toes
Saying get your hairy ass in the kitchen
But first put on some clothes
Don’t bother with my medicine
Go straight to my first meal
I’m not swallowing the bloody pill
And no I’m not eating veal

Meow might just motivate me
The rain is lashing down
I need to hop skip and jump
To the other side of town
The buses aren’t reliable
Not one taxi operates here
It’s going to be a cold and wet one
Motivation give me a cheer

Time to poop and have a shower
The water is still running cold
The wind has knocked out the pilot light
The bloody boiler is outside
Rained drenched balcony
I fumble around to reset
Hope the neighbours aren’t watching
At half naked me getting wet

Finally dry and wanting to eat
But the milk has solidified
Five flakes of limp cornflakes
Will be hard now to get inside
The margarine is looking green
And the bread is full of flies
Only the cat had something to eat
And I’ve still sleep in my eyes

Anything else to motivate me
This is proving a difficult day
I’ve got the whole world against me
And it’s still only Tuesday
The rain it seems to be getting worse
I just want to return to my bed
My tummy rumbles with hunger
Should I eat the stale bread ?