I can be annoying
Sometimes mean
I like getting attention
I might be obscene
I’ve been told to grow up
Act like a man
But I prefer to be disobedient
Throwing toys out of the pram

I don’t know right from wrong
I can’t help a tantrum or two
Never been smacked by a cross mum
I just haven’t a clue
I want all the beautiful people
As friends but they must obey
They should never steal the show
When we are at play

Some call it arrogance
Some call it child at play
Don’t fuck me off with your petulance
We hate what you say

I’m a little blonde lady
Playing with my goo goo dolls
I want never gets
Say the know it all trolls
I want a faster pussycat
I will cry and scream until you obey
I’m not eating spinach for lunch
I’m determined to get my own way

I’m a boy dressed in braces
To hold my baggy shorts up
I’ve played all day in a cesspit
Guess I’m really messed up
I know you told me not to
But I did it anyway
Now I’m so full of shit
I will go out to play

Some call it negligence
A baby needs to be weaned off
It’s petulance
Before the bastard is lost

I want a hamburger and fries
The little lad cried
I hate eating cheap kebabs
With gerbil meat inside
I’m not going to her party
Because she copies what I do
If I wear my pink frilly dress
She will wear one too

I’m not going to grandmas
Because daddy said she was a witch
Even Aunt Mable
Mommy said she’s the neighborhood snitch
I’m going to stamp my feet
And sob real loud
You will be labelled inconsiderate parents
And there will grow a crowd

In the queue at Morrisons
Because you didn’t buy a chocolate egg
Folding my arms like a brat
Because you put a hat on my head
I’m not going to bed early
I’m watching Friday the thirteenth
It might be too squeamish for you dad
But I think it’s terrific

Some call it a no win situation
It can explode at any time
When your kid of 33
Starts a tantrum pantomime
Maybe you should change his nappy
Clean his vodka tasting dummy
Get your 40 year old daughter out of her pram
Do you really think that’s funny

Petulance on Instagram
Nobody gave me a like
Getting your knickers in a twist
Now get on your fucking bike
One more word out of you son
You’ll get an almighty clip around your ear
I’m not buying you another Ferrari
As you got one last year.

Spoilt Rotten
You’ll get what you deserve
No supper for you son
Not another word