She didn’t like the wine
It wasn’t perfect
But it hit the spot
She obviously didn’t know
What wine was

She didn’t like the starter
The antipasto
She doesn’t like to nibble
On cheese and ham

She didn’t like the wait
Between the bread and the cheese
The atmosphere was cold
I was put in a deep freeze

She didn’t like the waitress
Dyed red hair and lipstick
She thought I was flirting
Better than talking to a dead lady

She didn’t like the pasta
Mixed with bacon and egg
She was hoping for soup
Something wet like her tears

Something made me think
That this date was doomed
Everything I did was a mistake
The good was bad and doomed
The restaurant the staff
The cockroaches on the floor
The crumbling paintwork
She always wanted more

She didn’t like the crispiness
Of all the things cooked with finesse
She couldn’t move a fucking muscle
In her out of date minidress
It wasn’t about the money
But to me it was a bad game
I wanted her to eat all things bio
She just brought me shame

Doomed to be known
That I took her out with me
She didn’t like anything
Or any basic recipe
The chips would be too greasy
The burger with too much meat
The grilled veg too green
How do I compete

Now we got to dessert
I was afraid for my life
How would she refuse tiramisu
Without using a knife
The whole party waited
To see if she would erupt
But strangely she stayed silent
Like a politician corrupt

Tired of these events this evening
I was betting on being boomed
Knowing her sense of humour
I know I was being groomed
Did we get to the coffee
It was not my ideal day
Did she leave after I paid
Was she stupid enough to stay
© Darren Hobson April 2021