You can’t trick me with
Another chocolate finger
I know that illustrious taste
The waffles always linger
The scent of orange peel
On your deflated Botox lips
The passion fruit without love
Dearer than your renaissance whips

I’m your enemy and I’m your vice
Don’t let me repeat myself again
I don’t like to saying things twice
The only rules is to take it all
One mouthful in one sitting
Don’t make a sticky mess
On my bathroom wall

The smell of the tainted sea
And sound of a crushed wave
I’m the lobster in a hot pot
My screaming is what you crave?
Instagram photos fishy treats Sunday
Two fucking out of date muscles
A kipper that’s definitely not a keeper
And diarrhea for a month

I’m your enemy and your vice
Not every piece of crab is nice
There is a toxic sauce on your radioactive tuna
You wanted salmon you should have booked sooner
The silly bastards swam the wrong way up stream
Fighting to escape the nets and your wet dream
The prices will make you mad as a hatter
You should have chosen Whitby and cod in batter

Oh doctor , I ignored what you said
Went to bed dreaming of chips and egg
What is a bit cholesterol between budding friends
In this time of grief it’s a fucking godsend
Vice is not smoking but having a drink
At the end of a stressful day
When you no longer want to think
When Mika is on TV
And he tries to entertain me
Hand me the bottle
I need 3D vision
To get out of this god awful prison

Play a game and feel too old
Can’t be arsed collecting all the gold
Level up and kill the zombies
Lights are out don’t know what day it is
Can’t kill the boss erase the game
Download another but it’s just the same
Looking for cheats on the virus Reddit
Got to pay for all this bullshit

You can’t trick me with another vice
How about sex that would be nice
I forgot that I’m such a nutter
My street cred is in the gutters gutter
No new sweet perfumed necks to taste
This horny hotrod has gone to waste
One less vice lost in lifes maze
Time to head on to the next internet craze

I’m your enemy and I was never nice
I didn’t like your music or Vanilla Ice
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera
Nope I never had a fantasy over her
Radio Ga Ga is a little better than Lady Gaga
But I’d rather be South of Heaven with Slayer
The biggest vice is music in my soul
A ton of concerts was a realistic goal

Now I’m old and almost dead
Got sawdust and bullshit in my head
Craving for vices that are illogical
Wanting things you might call diabolical
Lock me up through away the key
Stop me writing pathetic poetry
I’m your enemy and I’m not very nice
Don’t look at me and become my next vice.