Well I tried , I tried
I tried some more
I wrote some shit
Then I hit the floor
Confidence breakdown
Brain break up
I’m a total disaster
A daily fuck up

In a nest I’m a pest
In a den I’m born again
In the trees I graze my knees
Swaying in the nuclear breeze
Born again born to bruise
Did I win or did I lose
Modified welded on a hotrod
Well I tried I’m a try pod

I could be your new smoothie
I have a kick because I’m the added ginger
But you have to keep me in a safe place
I don’t mean abandoning me on Tinder
I’m the volcano you fear to climb
In case of an almighty sulphuric fart
I’m the computer who freezes after a minute
And you don’t know how to restart

Well I tried, I tried
Ctrl alt delete
I tried to woo your heart
And sweep you off your feet
Instead of a sweet caress
I gave you a Glasgow kiss
Instead of making love
I pushed you into the abyss

When I’m in a burrow
I’m feeling so hollow
I’m in a trap in a lair
I think it’s so unfair
I’m behind the coach
Hiding from a new generation Dalek
Doctor fucking who
Against zombies with red long hair

When I try I can’t lie
I’ve more passion than a fruit
My muscles have started to sag
I can still be such a brute
Send me up into space
Attach me to the space station
Let me have a good look at the stars
Solve Einstein’s unsolved equation

Let me escape from reality
Where I tried to coexist
When things went pear shaped
I decided to get pissed
Decades passed in a stupor
I loved being out of my mind
Now that I’m a physical wreck
My outlook is now blind

As the space station falls apart
I head to the only escape pod
I tried to save all humanity
But I’m just a false try pod
I even make up phrases
That seem really cool
It just goes to show how goofy I am
Maybe I love being the fool

I tried so hard to make you smile
And harder to make you laugh
I even tried to seduce your bones
And I gave you a lovely bubble bath
But for all my work and words
Nothing has come to fruition
Maybe I am really a space alien
Or maybe a genetic mutation

Well how many points do I get for trying
I always tried to piss in the pot
As for all the other failures
So many that I’ve almost forgot
I don’t know where I’m going
I don’t know really where I’ve been
I know I’m a train crash ready to happen
And I’m bordering on the obscene

I tried to please the most of you
And with that I fell off the church spire
I landed back in my workplace
Thankfully on a mound of old tyres
While I juggle with work and play
And drag my ass through another boring day
It didn’t last long but at least I tried
I’m a two legged try pod .